Dirk, You Are Not The Father....

That sigh of relief you hear is Dirk Nowitzki after getting news that is crazy ass live-in kleptomaniac of a ex-girlfriend/fiancee WAS NOT pregnant with Dirk's child.

"As we suspected from the start, we did not believe that she was pregnant and now that has been confirmed," Hart said.

The test, ordered July 24 by Dallas family court Associate Judge Randall Grubbs, was administered in Missouri. Hart on Friday received the documentation confirming that Taylor is not pregnant.

"Good news on Dirk's ex," Mavericks owner Mark Cuban said via his Twitter feed Thursday afternoon. "No surprise. Can't wait [for] training camp."

Within two weeks of her May 6 arrest at Nowitzki's Dallas home, Taylor told The Dallas Morning News in a phone interview that she was "pregnant and alone and broke," insisting that Nowitzki was the father.

On Thursday, Taylor's Texas-based attorney, Scott Renick, told ESPN's John Barr: "I don't know if she miscarried, I don't know if she was never pregnant, I just don't know and I may never know."

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Below is video of Dirk's reaction to the news...

Talk about dodging a bullet! Let this be a lesson to all, WRAP IT UP B!!!!! Wear two if you are that unsure, and stick to the rules:

Rule #1: DO NOT STICK IT IN THE CRAZY!
Rule #2: If you ignore rule number 1, stick and move... any more than that is your own fault!!
Rule #3: See Rule Number 1!
Rule #4: Never ever date a chick named after an alcoholic beverage and/or automobile!
Rule #5: Do Not Let the Crazy Move In!!!